Forgiving is not enabling


I used to have misconceptions about what being a good and forgiving person meant. As I kept enduring toxic or abusive behavior, people close to me being abusive, criticizing or laughing at me as their favorite Empath dumping ground, I became depressed and drained. In time the love I had for these type of low-frequency people were tainted with resentment and a feeling of powerlessness for I didn’t know what to do. I’ve been so repressed and abused by my narcissistic ex-mom since birth, that I spent decades denying my lower feelings. When I felt less than ‘honorable’ emotions, I felt awful and judged myself harshly. That left me with no energy to have better boundaries or to speak up for myself, although I was always ready to fight for others. No, there is nothing wrong with feeling anger, resentment or whatever awakens when we are treated unfairly. Women, especially, are repressed for or shamed when we express these feelings. These lower emotions can even help us to stand up for or leave toxic people or environments.
I believe in second chances but I never found someone who changed because I asked them to. We only evolve when we want to.

I know now that I had embodied generational guilt and toxic shame from my very sick bloodline. My ex-mom also blamed me for everything wrong in her life and in the house. She used to say that I messed up her marriage, that her pregnancy of me hurt more than my brother’s, that I changed her body or that I spent money as a child but didn’t make any. Yes, she is clearly insane but when you hear that since you were 3 years old it’s very, very difficult to overcome that, although I did. It takes a daily commitment to ourselves above anyone else.
We can’t change anyone and do not have the right to. It is unfortunate when some time passes and we find our friend who was nice at first turns out to be a critical, judgmental or unbalanced person in the inside. In this society, people hide who they really are and you are only going to find their masks falling after a long time, usually when you dropped your defenses already.
We should always look at ourselves first as we could be bringing people of the same vibration over and over for resolution because we ourselves are like them or we have a wound that emanates a frequency calling others that match it. If we are used to doing the inner work (Know thyself), then we know when the root cause is outside of us and can treat these relationships accordingly.
With the Ascension splitting of worlds or timelines, it’s becoming clear that separation is occurring and we are finding ourselves letting more and more people go. They might have worked really well in a world of trauma, karma and drama of the lower 3D density but that dimension doesn’t even exist anymore. Some ‘heavy’ people are descending while others are Ascending. It’s not a judgmental thing, Source is Neutral, but we definitely have different Heart frequencies and some People are more loving than others so they are moving into the timeline that suits them.
When this split started happening to me in 2005, it was like these denser people started to misunderstand me even more than they did before, as I always occupied my Heart more than what’s common in this world. The attacks by unaware people increased and that’s a clear sign we are being kicked out of a timeline or reality. Most people Souls occupy the brain (where we live from or focus on), so arrogance, ego and rationality are rampant in this world. Ego and Heart based people have very different perceptions, their focus and priorities are different so it’s like they belong to different species and are being forced to live together on this planet.
If you are a Heart-centered person, then you had to forgive a lot of ego-based people, full of fear, competition and service-to-self behavior.
When we look at this from a higher perspective, we can let go the judgment of ourselves and why we have so much conflict with the too rational or unfeeling ordinary Human being but as they are the majority, it feels that the Heart-based is in the wrong sometimes.
When we look at it from a Higher perspective, Souls/People from different frequencies do not live on the same planet. The 6D Arcturians for example, have a different frequency from the 5D Andromedans. As they are all Heart-based and service to others/connected to Source, they wouldn’t suffer if they had to co-exist in the same world. Things are different on Earth. We have to live with people from a 3D consciousness (materialism, egocentrism, survival) to a 6D (One with Source, Love for All Living Beings) so there is an energetic unbalance until those with a Higher Consciousness stop saving or enabling others who still need or delight in a denser experience and start taking care of themselves.
The 3D people even demand or try to shame the spiritual 5D or 6D person to give them help, information, spiritual or holistic services and talents for free sometimes. Subconsciously, they know the ones with a higher or multidimensional consciousness have more energy and access so they envy or demand things from them. It is common for the lower level energies to create drama and emotional blackmail to hook to the higher vibrating people in their families, work environments and etc.
Forgiving indefinitely while remaining in the lower consciousness frequency attack range harms everyone involved. The ones with a lower consciousness (not in a hierarchical but on an energetic level) do not learn or empower themselves, realizing that evolution is a personal responsibility, while the ones with a higher consciousness will keep dimming their light or hiding who they truly are to make others happy or less threatened. Turning off our Light does not stop envy or attacks, no matter how far into the dark hole we descend into, our energy signature is always there.
Those who live in their Hearts must increase their courage and coach themselves to become more of what their Soul really is, not to hide and keep quiet so to not bother anyone. This world desperately needs more Love and Harmony. Now is the time for the Spiritual People to come out of their closets. The grid, the new Earth energetic rules and the Ascension energies coming in protect us now, finally. Heart-based people are having to cut more and more toxic things out of their lives because these things latch on to them and drag them down.
Empaths sometimes lack energy because we do not feed upon others to get it. This used to be a closed, parasitic matrix where most started feeding off each other and animals as there was no new energy coming in, which happens when the matrix system is not fair or based on Universal Laws. Since the 2000s or so, these systems and pyramids have been dismantled consistently but many parasitic Humans and entities still act as they did for thousands of years out of habit or ignorance. Sometimes when someone upsets or attacks us, they might be trying to get a reaction from us so that we open up energetically for them to siphon energy. We’ve all known people who thrive in drama or are mean to others, and these are tell-tale signs of someone trying to get energy to feed a void inside of them. There are people who are never, ever happy and even their laughter comes from cruelty. These are people with no Light. Only a Loving Heart-based in service for All can generate their own energy. It’s sort of a safety mechanism put in place by Source so we are all encouraged to Ascend and evolve one day while we cannot go far until we are Benevolent and Fair.
Forgiving others in our hearts doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t mean we will ever get close or trust the person again, we need to be smart and care for ourselves. I always practice as well as emphasize here the need to live from our Hearts all the time, but when it comes to toxic people and painful situations, then we need to use rationality and our brains. We can write the new guidelines down so we don’t let emotions get in the way next time low-frequency people try to pull us back.
Forgiving is a choice we make when a new layer of resentment, pain and memories surface. It’s an inner work without the need for us to shake hands or make it known to the person. There are people who won’t change or that were hurting us on purpose. We didn’t come here to love others more than we love ourselves. No one is a savior or needs to make others happy. Forgiving doesn’t mean to maintain the relationship, it just means that we let them go in our Hearts for them to be as they are, cutting all energetic, emotional and physical ties. Allowing is a Loving act. When we hold grudges we hurt ourselves and are still linked to the person. Sometimes, when these people come up in our thoughts and we are absolutely sure we didn’t start it, then it might be a psychic attack and they are the ones thinking of us. Shielding and daily cleansing of ourselves are important for the End Times we are living in. There are no big secrets, just visualize and do decrees from your Heart. There is no need to pay for expensive gurus or methods as protection and self-healing is our birthright. We are all very powerful and wise but have been brainwashed to forget that. It was the price for the ticket to the old 3D patriarchal world we were born in.
Sometimes we genuinely intended to and forgave someone for a long time and then out of nowhere a hurt or resentment about them seems to be back again. Forgiving once doesn’t mean the work is done. We’ve been indoctrinated to think that we can be switched on and off like a machine, but HUman Beings heal in waves. We did indeed forgive at first, but then we Ascended into a new energetic level and the second layer of resentment is now uncovered, we just couldn’t ‘see’ or feel it when we were in more density. To judge ourselves while doing inner work is to make it infinitely harder. Emotions and energy are stuck within our bodies for a reason and there is no judgment. When we know what is happening and accept it, the healing, purging and clearing are more smooth and peaceful. If we judge or create stories out of these past experiences, we create another dimensional loop or energetic block.
Forgiving doesn’t mean carrying lower consciousness people on our backs, to make space in our precious lives and energies for their unacceptable behavior or demands, even if they are family.
If our hellish relatives want our presence in their holiday wars, then they should change and act respectfully, otherwise, we have the right to never come back. To get into drama is always a personal choice. Empaths need more boundaries than anyone. We often forget where we end and others begin when in these situations as we empathize with the pain of the world and want the best for all Beings, but when we go down with them we will stop helping and being the Light of the world. A fallen Empath is one more depressed Human Being emanating dense energies, we don’t need one more of those. We came here to cleanse that energy, not to join with the negativity.
It takes two in a relationship. Even if our mothers gave birth to us – or in my ex-mom’s case, threw that in my face when I tried to assert myself – remember that no one on this planet has the right to mistreat us. No matter who they are, relationships must be mutual. If we honor and respect others, we MUST expect the same and when we do not have that it is a shame but we can then let them go with forgiveness.
Abuse on many levels runs rampant on this planet and it’s acceptable in families as a normal way to relate, between longtime friends or as ways of making jokes. To get out of this traumatic loop that has been normalized on Earth due to traditions and a planetary race that usually doesn’t think for themselves but follows the status quo, go back to your Heart and check how words, actions or what is ‘normal’ FEELS to YOU and act accordingly. It doesn’t matter a behavior is the norm, feel – do not think – for yourself. If it feels bad do not accept or enable it. It will crush you and your self-esteem in time. I’ve gone through that and don’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Mindfulness, meditation and self-awareness can help us get out of the barbaric constructs in society that needs to go. A small number of the population wake up and emBODY the change first before it can be ‘picked up’ by the collective, that’s why Old and Ancient Souls are here now. Most of them are not famous or known but are steering the collective consciousness into higher outcomes. They’ve done this already and find the systems and ways of living here abhorrent. They create the New while removing their consent from old ways as their consciousness expands and they become aware of them. BEing the change and CREATing the New is more important than fighting what doesn’t work, which creates resistance and keeps the cruelty in place. That’s why there is a consciousness trap in the new age called resistance that does the opposite of what they claim and is using unaware people as a battery to fuel the ways things were for a few more years. While many of them consciously think they are bringing New Earth and World Peace, they are actually keeping lower energies in place by resisting instead of CREATing, INtending, DREAMing, BEing and DOing the New. Others can inspire us from time to time but it’s important the truly awakened stop being followers and go within.
Religious cults and society shame us when we cut parent-children or spouse ties but that was a false construct so Empaths get drained all their lives, enabling abusive behavior while many forms of parasites feed off of that drama, not only the physical people involved.
My Grandfather and his daughter – my Aunt – were two Empaths and very Advanced Souls who enabled the narcissists and energy vampires around them until the end. They died young, were depressed and in pain by the time of their departure. I was following their same path but woke up in time. I have a strong feeling that it was my Grandfather who came to shake me up actually.
With the new Heart-based grid is in place supporting the Empathic, we are seeing more people are waking up to narcissism, abuse and so much more all of the sudden. Many were so gaslighted they didn’t realize they were food for entities with no Light.
If we need to cut family or relatives out of our lives and we are afraid of judgment, we can keep to ourselves until we make the decision and even afterward. Superficially, it looks like good people stick by their families till the end but when we live that experience and have seen it from all levels that’s not loving because one person is being hurt in this process: ourselves. Being Spiritual and Loving actually means we are quite intolerant to lower energies. We know though love and when someone doesn’t want to get better and we need to leave Life Itself to teach them what is what.
To be a good person is to allow all involved to just be, that apply to us as well. Being Loving and giving is the correct way of living, those who don’t want to hop on board have the right to live as they want, but benevolent people must in peace and well rested so they can help those who really needs it, not energy vampires.
Toxic people who siphon energy from others must be left alone eventually so they look themselves in the mirror and wake up to their parasitic behavior, which is no longer rewarded on Earth.

Be good to yourself. Love yourself first.



Copyright Β© Marta Sasai 2013 ~2018. All Rights Reserved. Only a small portion may be quoted somewhere else, cannot be altered in any way, credit must be given to the author and this URL and Copyright notice must be included.
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Thank you for your integrity and respect.
True Lightworkers don’t copy, they are Creating the New.


2 thoughts on “Forgiving is not enabling

  1. Dear Marta,
    I said I’d explore your web site more and this is what I read first. It contains everything – everything one would want to say or hear to be pointed in the direction of truth, and to feel understood in the most painful and secret places.
    I too am Arcturian. Not going into this now– too busy living Earth life which is still new to me, full of wonder and delight as well as its opposites.
    I want to share something that has come out of left field to demonstrate what it looks like to spontaneously express feelings without fear. It’s a Netflix series called “Velvet” – set in the late 1950s in Madrid, Spain. The family, love and work relationships, the friendships among the women with each other and the men with each other; the class and status differences; and the overall thread of connection has taught me more of human beings than books I’ve read and even real life, where, as you say, so much of our emotional life is ridden with shame and repressed. This series has none of the unfunny slapstick comedy of most others, has dignity and intelligence, suspense, emotion, and GREAT music. I’m on my second viewing…
    This may not be your cup of tea, but it’s buried treasure I wanted to share with you, just in case.
    I understand why you connect with Denise.
    sending you love,


    1. Hi!
      Thank you for reading, that’s my hope exactly, to just point a direction like I wish someone did for me from 1998 ~2017, but I had to go through all that alone to experience fully.

      Talk about the secret places, there were many of those in my journey too.

      I now understand even better the kinship I felt if your Soul recently came from Arcturus, your kindness and wisdom.

      I googled your suggestion and unfortunately, I am extra sensitive to drama and haven’t been able to watch for a decade or so. I would try though but I am not able to pay for netflix at this time, who knows tomorrow? πŸ˜‰

      I forgot and thank you for help me retrieve that energy, but since I was little until my 14s, I didn’t understand people and observed them a lot. Movies and series helped me understand a lot better.

      When Hollywood shifted since 2001 or so, I felt a little ill watching movies and series with symbols and haven’t been doing so (or tv) for many years, or I read many reviews first to be sure it’s high vibe and end up finding spoilers and give up. πŸ˜†

      Denise is amazing and we are lucky she was so courageous to share all that really matters. Sometimes I can’t believe we have someone like her on the planet.

      Honored by your Light, have a great week!


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