Lightworker Loneliness

Lightworker Loneliness, Empaths, Starseeds and Ascension

Recently, I purged a big chunk of the old Lightworker loneliness/being different/having no support from the lower vibrations’ pattern. The last thing I want to project is that I have this thing figured out or that I’m all happy because I’ve been through this Ascension process for two decades already. That’s not helpful and the last thing people who awakened recently need to hear. The more we heal, the easier and blissful this Ascension ‘business’ gets though.
One of the greatest signs that I have very little space for depression and density within me anymore came in the life-changing ending of 2018 when I lost another elderly puppy mill rescue. Since 2012, we’ve been losing Animals almost every year (they are Ascending and need our support too) and every time another Child died I used to go down for a long time, mourning them. That didn’t happen this time and that is new.
Recently, I felt another wave of sadness/mourning coming up so I locked my self in my ‘Ascension chamber’ (just my bedroom really, with four crystals on the corners where I meditate, travel multidimensionally, etc), turned on depressing music (HP Courtyard Apocalypse 1Hr) and just let it come. It’s funny to think about it now and I’ve been told before I have some depressing or strange habits. Most people think that locking ourselves in the dark while feeling sad is the worst thing we can do but facing these emotions and patterns with courage is what makes them be released and go away. Distracting ourselves and pushing forward creates blocks.
The music was an intuitive good choice. I realized a similarity between a certain type of Lightworkers with the Snape character where he is actually trying to do good but so many hate him for being different, or how much resistance he finds on his path. Some Lightworkers were here battling the dark, getting into the most toxic families, work environments and been bullied at school when they were younger. I went through work environment harassment, bullying and gossip even as an adult. Some were magnets to dark energy and their very lives have been in danger many times.
I was one of these Energy Transmuters so I never fooled myself that this wasn’t a polarity game and that all was sparkles and positivity, like the trap that many Lightworkers fall into. Knowing the true Light and dark, I didn’t believe but KNEW the beauty that was coming. Deep inside, I sacrificed a lot and endured much, knowing that I was one of those bringing the new and always seen signs of Source working through me by first being at the right place at the right time.
With the split happening right now, we don’t have much time to purge things slowly anymore, it seems. My body aches increased since October 2018, and recently, I had to purge a big chunk (if not all) of the Lightworker lonely pattern or that difficult thing that kept us apart from Humanity everywhere we looked. I am sure there are others out there who felt quite self-conscious and may have tried (and given up) to fit in because they just couldn’t.
It is understandable to feel so different as we come with different energies, our composition, Soul paths, our priorities, empathy and ways of thinking are so different from what people here have been programmed to be that they are noticeable. Most of us also took things quite personally, especially if most of our relatives, co-workers and even strangers turned against us but seemed to forgive or understand each other and the majority of low vibration people.
On the other hand, we didn’t have much support here. One of the reasons I’ve found is that we didn’t come here to create karmic ties with anyone so many of us didn’t have children or had a big group of Soul mates to come with us. We’ve found them throughout our lives to exchange energy/codes, be inspired or healed by them and then they left, making us question why we can’t keep or have many relatable people around us.
It is good to remember that this is not our home and we are just passing by.
Humanity has been creating the same atrocities over and over, passing trauma down the generations without knowing what to do about it for at least 6.000 years of religious cults’ mind-control due to negative aliens who posed themselves as gods, low vibration entities and psychopathic incarnated humans who served these forces.
These were all necessary for us to experience the Era of Separation, but now we are moving into a new Creation. The dark will have to be rehabilitated or go back to Source, never to return. We are not worried about them.
Those working for World Peace or the Highest Good of All Humans, Animals and Mother Earth will have eyes to see everything parasitic moving up and out. That’s why so many things are crumbling and being exposed. Because things are not getting worse, but better. The depravity, parasitism, cruelty and all have been here for thousands of years. Most people let it happen, some tried to change the status quo while a few others were actually responsible for such deeds and the cover-up. To focus on these things now if we can’t do something about it is to give it the energy to continue.
When this loneliness, abandonment and being different issue comes up, be kind to yourself. Do not judge yourself weak. Being a Lightworker is not about to be smiling all the time. We actually need more genuine people who don’t put on masks, especially those forerunners showing the way to INspire others that feeling whatever we are feeling is totally ok. Humanity became quite a fake race, driven by ego who keeps trying to show they are happy all the time, that they are better or have more than others.
I never felt spiritual people who hide their difficulties and less than flattering experiences are really helpful and those things will come up eventually. The truth is we’ve all been hurt and healing at some point, I don’t know why there’s a need to show otherwise.
When we feel grief about what has been, even if we do not experience them in the now, it is usually a wound coming up to the surface. These energies need witnessing so they leave, that’s why I shut down the distraction, close my eyes, hug my bunny pillow and cry. It’s very quick this way.
I haven’t sobbed like a baby for a very, very long time, but on that afternoon I did. After the purging, I went to sleep without realizing. I heal much more quickly when dealing with them in dreamland. My feeling is that the healing continued in Dreamtime, which makes things so much easier, and when I woke up a few hours later, I remembered something very vivid and that was the reason why I awoke. As I lay down on my side, still hugging my bunny in my energetic form, one of my Guardians came and sat on the bed. I physically felt him dip the cushion and I raised my head and started babbling to him. I told him that it’s too much, that I’m so tired of the body aches that I and all others can’t do this anymore. I wasn’t only crying for me but for all genuine Lightworkers who haven’t given up yet. He caressed my back and looked down on me with so much fatherly compassion that I calmed down. He shooshed me and asked me if we had any idea how revered and supported we are. That the celestial hosts are supporting us first, more than anything throughout this Ascension. They know how difficult it is for us and he telepathically indicated other Lightworkers to me. He said very few of us haven’t given up yet from all of those who have come at first, so they are giving us extra many things so we can still go on and continue. And we are so close now.
I am sure the way he looked and touched me meant much more than my lower self can still understand, and even more information and feelings are coming in as I type this, but if it’s any consolation to all lonely Lightworker Souls out there, we are being witnessed and watched over! For all of you who struggled financially, physically, had no real friends, no support, a horrible family, hellish work environments, people who used you, stabbed you in the back or even stole from you, I am so thankful for your Service to Humanity and I am in awe of all who haven’t given up yet. I did think about quitting in 2001, 2004, 2008 and who knows how many more times in just going within to heal and forget about helping anyone, but I just couldn’t. That in itself makes me realize I am a Forerunner. I’ve been truly angry at Humanity and completely disgusted by the way they treat each other and Animals, not to mention the use of Nature like there is no tomorrow, but I always went back to the overwhelming Love I have for All and it was good. It showed me that I can’t be anything but this. If we come back to the Heart path, then we are more resolved to continue.
I’ve seen a vision in Dreamtime of us popping up into higher dimensions like marbles. I am sure I will understand this better once my consciousness expands even further, as I usually have visions that I can only understand much later, but it feels like the reason for us to look like marbles it’s because of our individual unique talents, our toughness for not given up our Hearts after all the attacks and disappointments and as a reminder that we are not just these bodies.
I remember seeing marbles for the first time when I was little and being mesmerized by them when they hit each other. I would catch my brother’s toy and look at them closer and see a whole world inside. I remember thinking about marbles for a very long time and that they would be important, somehow. I found them magical. I am very frugal and don’t like buying things (the things we own physically are more reasons for our energy to spread as we are responsible for them like all of our creations) but maybe I should buy myself some, to always remember this and play with them again, now understanding my fascination.
The vision also made me understand why we are in so much pain right now and that we are the ones about to ‘pop’ into higher dimensions. That’s another reason for the rounded format, I felt. Instead of looking like a star or having cords, marbles are round showing we are being ‘shaped’ into the most optimal form to easily slide into the New Earth realm.
The visitation from one of my Guardians and the marble vision gave me much comfort. I know it still doesn’t fix things for us and we are still waiting, but feeling peaceful is what is going to make things manifest faster as those of us who can remain neutral most of the day are the ones vibrating higher. Those with the highest vibration on Earth have always been responsible for the direction the planet was going. There is no need to force happiness and positivity, just peace is more than enough and sometimes it’s all we can feel. But if you are doing your part, ask for support, healing and whatever you need away. They are waiting and anxious to help us, as this is not even our planet. We didn’t even need to be here but came for our Love and witnessing of their suffering here. No need to sacrifice and give, give and give until you are drained. Just by being here with such a loving Heart after all we’ve been through is more than enough. No martyrdom either, expect support from the lower vibrations. The time for the truly spiritual to keep giving away, enabling others who don’t take responsibility or are ungrateful are over and should never have existed. It was a program to trap Empaths into toxic relationships and accept abuse.
Remember that if you Love All, you owe nothing and that’s actually quite rare on Earth. So just by being this Loving and courageous you, you are doing a lot.
Rest, recognize how amazing you are, Love Yourself and be well.

Sending much Love to all focused on a better world.

Marta

~

Copyright © Marta Sasai 2013 ~2019. All Rights Reserved. Only 200 characters may be quoted somewhere else, cannot be altered in any way, credit must be given to the author and this URL https://martasasai.wordpress.com and Copyright notice must be included.
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Thank you for your integrity and respect.
True Lightworkers don’t copy, they are Creating the New.

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