Emotional low since Mercury retrograde

Lightworkers, Starseeds, Ascension and the mercury retrograde purging - Moon Night

It has been difficult for some of us to come out of the hole since Mercury retrograde that happened so long ago.
I had missing time this month, even days. Sometimes I realize I am no longer in the same day anymore and when I check the calendar (which is rare), one or two days has gone by. March, on the other hand, dragged down slowly while other Lightworkers perceived differently with this month dragging on while March flew by.
Since 2015 I’ve been feeling time ‘speeding up’, wobbly or however you want to call it.
Energy blasts cause many aches on Forerunners embodying the New Light but since October 2018, they are increasing. I used to feel the aches with weeks in between energy blasts to rest, and now only a few days. Sometimes it’s even difficult to get out of bed and it’s been painful.
Allowing sleep to come without judgment, like going to bed at 5 pm even if we’ll leave someone to dine alone is our birthright. As Starseeeds, we must remember that we are doing a lot just by incarnating here grounding the New and that we are also working on many dimensional levels as well and it’s one of the reasons we get tired.
As I carried some savior and martyr paradigms in me, I denied self-care and the freedom to do whatever I want and instead felt responsible, guilty or worried about everyone around and it’s been years of struggle to free myself of those shackles.
Having time, space, freedom, acceptance and understanding is crucial for our mission here. If the people around us are not supportive, it is important to decide what to do then. As I left all parasitic, abusive and wounded ‘family and friends’ behind, I clearly saw shifts in all of my bodies, physical life and emotional well-being. I understand when people are in a lower frequency or in pain, but I don’t accept their wounded childish ego lashing out on me because I am an Empath.
It’s up to each of us sensitive people to raise boundaries or accept the common disrespectful and parasitic behavior people have. I lost count how many times people took advantage and had to become ‘Earth smart’ – as well as street smart 🙂 In the end, we can’t blame these people, no matter how unaware they are. When we keep complaining about something, it usually means that there are other options but we are just reluctant to act.
For me, Mercury retrograde is a time for hibernation, tears, looking at my deepest shadows so when it is over it’s time to let the patterns go. This year, for the first time, the funk didn’t go away when it went forward. I used to feel almost immediate relief but not in this energetically overwhelming year for Ascension. I don’t know if this is the last great purging but I’ve spent weeks dealing with emotional pains that haven’t come up in years. I no longer judge myself for still having to go to those places and problems, but I was surprised because I thought I was done with them. But I know that at every visit, it could be the last review.
We leave density behind as we step into a new energetic rung. It’s impossible to take the baggage with us so when more New Light comes, the first indication is that we become weepy, maybe a little grumpy or visit old resentments we thought were done with but found that some dust remains to be cleared.
If we dealt with the entire energy block at once we would lose balance. By visiting these root causes in layers through repetitive cycles, we’ve been spoon-fed to chew only what we can bite. It hurts but we are dealing with just a little bit at a time.
Feeling these energies fully, no matter if our mission on Earth had to do with dealing with and removing inferiority complex patterns, generational trauma, rejection, fears, guilt or whatever it is, is the way to release them. I noticed that the time required for us to purge heavy feelings is shortening. Soon, we’ll have no pain left to revisit or purge.
Recently, Source showed me how we are having less and less space to house lower emotions in our physical, emotional bodies and etc – if we are doing the inner work, that is.
For those who don’t take responsibility for their feelings, who try to live unconsciously, push them away or lash out on others, this year is being very painful. Many who seems insane are actually bursting great chunks of their patterns at once because the inner work hasn’t been accomplished when there was some quiet time before new incoming Light. Now there is no buffer and we are bathed in the New Codes constantly. It is hitting the ego very hard and these lower emotions burn in the body.
We already came into this planet with an automatic, Divine and merciful tool that we can use all the time, even as constant as we smile, and that is crying. It is free, we don’t need to pay anyone to get it and it’s a great relief. If we are not afraid and get used to it, crying feels good.
To smile all the time is not even natural. When we force a range of emotions then the balance is lost and we fall into the other polarity. I used to go down for weeks in depression or despair after forcing myself to be positive or happy all the time. Nowadays I strive to be balanced. If I am excited, I bring the frequency down, if I am purging and start to obsess about it I bring my self up.
Update: Part of the angst, heavy feeling or any dense emotions are coming from the collective. I absolutely don’t read the news or give that crazy world any drop of my energy or consent (only if I am obligated by law to vote or renew documents which at this point feels absolutely unbearable and pointless) as I want to bring the Love into this world, not other things. When things are important it somehow comes into my awareness. There were some fear and tumult thrown at Humanity recently – I won’t even mention from what – and now I know what I was hit with a few days ago. It’s hard to believe sometimes how people still keep freaking and throwing that energy into the rest of us.
Shield your 5D home and yourself. Cleanse yourself energetically daily.
Yes, we don’t have a lot of support. We are all alone spread in strategic places around the world but we need to remember we are bringing the Divine Plan, instead of freaking out with the masses.
As the Older Sisters we remember that Higher Vibration always beats lower.
I feel that this trip to the underworld needed to be shared, maybe it will help someone.

Wishing you love and healing!



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2 thoughts on “Emotional low since Mercury retrograde

  1. Dear Marta,
    Just found your IG and then this Blog! Thank you so much for sharing your story! It helped me a lot! Especially spiders and how to not feel guilt when leaving whole family behind..
    Life in London is so dence, but I feel me and my Children are still doing some grid work here with crystals and anchoring Light.. Since 2008 we came through a lot, 2012/2013 was such a big purging for me, can ‘t even describe! Since 2014 learning my galactic history, healing, sharing Light as much as I can.
    The main reason for my message is to show my gratitude for sharing your story, reading it today was a great breakthrough for me and my oldest daughter! We both has this fear of Spiders and we slowly overcome it! Thank you, sending you Love and Eternal Light! Xxx Yvonne


    1. Dear Yvonne,

      Your comment was such an encouragement to me, thank you! The greatest gift to me is to have helped someone to heal or find relief. And for letting me know where you found me, that is so helpful.

      I only found another person talking about Spider Beings before so those with this Galactic trauma must be rare on Earth. I came from a 5D world going on 6D, maybe that’s why. It feels most on Earth are 4D going on 5D if they are Heart-centred.

      Is it too dark where you live? I am wishing the Highest Good and Light for you, your family and your physical place on Earth. You are so lucky to have another Lightworker in the family.

      2013 was very Galactic and healing for me too.

      I am so glad you are all healing from the spider fear.

      Staying nearby and looking at them has been helping me but it wasn’t enough so my kind Higher Self decided ‘Let’s touch one shall we?’ 😂

      Hubby said he heard some sort of bird screaming at odd hours in the morning and couldn’t stop laughing when he found it was me. 😂

      I am so glad the leaving family bit helped you. I just knew I had to keep sharing my painful experiences as I feel some Starseeds out there think they are alone (or wrong or ‘attracting’ the pain) as I believed once.

      We try our best but our blood family are usually traumatized, have harmful ancestral patterns, entity attachments and miasma.

      As Light Beings from healed worlds and realms, we come here hoping we can transmute what Humans have been going through thousands of years. When we clear enough we know it’s time to leave them behind if they are not taking responsibility or downright attacking us. I’ve tried everything to endure them and in 2016, Source told me it was time for some of us to let them go. We do not owe them anything and if people can’t treat us with the minimal amount of decency and respect then we have no choice.

      After so much abuse, attacks and drama I cut them out, one by one. I don’t know my family and relatives anymore. At least 3 of them regret what they did and I know that no one would have woken up if I didn’t volunteered for that dark family.

      I AM so grateful to you.

      All you sent me was Heartfelt and I send you back tenfold.

      All the blessings, infinite Love and Abundance beautiful Sistar.


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