At some point in our Ascension process, we purge layers of the Starseed pattern/thought form of wanting to go home, the unsatisfaction, the waiting for something outside of ourselves to change when we are in fact, the change. Not ‘the event’, Ets, Angels or incoming Light. Outside help can only support the diligent inner work we do ourselves. We are healing, re-aligning back to Source and removing all falsehoods and patterns we acquired to live in heavy density. We also ‘caught’ these patterns because we prepared ourselves to transmute them on behalf of all Living Beings before incarnating here. External events do influence us on all levels but when we find ourselves stuck in a paradigm such the drain that constantly yearning for home brings. We must try to shift a bit to find the joy here and be creative.
At the same time, yes, it is very hard to be here as a matrix crumbles. It has always been unsustainable and that’s why Gaia needed Old and Ancient Souls who already went through Ascension shifts to hold and bring in Light, as well as INspire others. Many Starseeds also went through all experiences of separation and density, such as exploring the ego, materialism and dense emotions and there is nothing here that interests us. There is nothing to learn. At some point when our consciousness expands back to our I AM presence, there is a feeling of being here just waiting, holding the Light, trying to remain centered and not much else. It can be boring, the incoming Light very painful in the body and the emotional purging constant and excruciating.
One of my difficulties has been being aware I am a Forerunner and that I am embodying the Light but at the same time, do not fall into sadness for too long when I catch myself impatient, wanting the visions I’ve seen for a near future to happen already. With all the trash flying, it is not easy to remain balanced all the time.
When we allow ourselves to go down the despair route, we may lower our vibration. Being centered and focusing on our Knowing that this wonderful New Earth is already here and Now is not easy. And those of us dreaming of the New are all by ourselves. We don’t have someone else who knows what’s going on to have a cup of tea and talk about it, encouraging each other. We are not born in Starseed families and actually come in very dark bloodlines. Most of us do not have a family member, friend or someone on the same frequency and level of consciousness. It is hard to not be able to express ourselves authentically, but if you tried to talk about these things with just anybody you know how fearful people respond. One of the reasons why we live as a Hermit it’s because we are mastering empowerment and we need to be smart about the way we live.
If you have been an energy transmuter then you know about the darkness in this world and the dangers so, on one hand, we do isolate sometimes for our own safety. I’ve been accepting and had no discernment and allowed everyone into in my life bringing covert and overt attacks, gaslighting and it was very hard to hear my Soul.
Japan is not my homeland, and I have yet to meet any other foreigner who does not miss their homes at least a bit, imagine coming from a whole different dimension and star system.
First, many of us Starseeds must lower our vibration to really understand what our mission is by experiencing its excruciating pains, the many levels and then out of nowhere, we are ignited to the memory ingrained in our energy and remember how to heal, start losing interest in the ‘normal’ material and mainstream life and become this unique Being we came here to be. That’s when people of a different frequency starts disappearing, find us weird, or try to hold us back. Some even become afraid of us or abusive. We prepared for this life but once we come here we forget it is a mission, as well as a test and start to regret it, wanting to go home. Some of these Souls got stuck here while others repeated their lives. I know that trying to get out of here by suicide doesn’t work and I am repeating one life which is three times harder than the life I should have finished.
If it is of any comfort, no matter what it is, you can heal. There is a path back to alignment and surrendering is one of the most important things (that doesn’t mean giving up) as it will allow your Spiritual Support and Source to come through, showing you the way.
My healing began when I shut my ears to society and started listening to the Voice within. Every time I listened to other people or followed society’s expectations, I left my path or had a life crisis. That was necessary for me to learn and I did it out of trying to make everyone happy but critics and judgmental people don’t know much. If they did they would take care of their own lives and would stop projecting what they are out there, thinking that everyone is like them. They only expose their own selves in every word they say about others. It is embarrassing.
When a wound, blockage or pattern is about to leave they seem magnified. All of our being, our emotions and physical bodies seem to be aware of nothing but the pain/pattern that is being purged.
Instead of looking for distractions or resisting the lower energy (which will keep it in place) it’s better to close our eyes, dive in meditation or just lay down and feel the emotion deeply for release. Energy needs to be witnessed so it can leave as we are taking all experiences and information back to Source.
Wanting to leave the Now moment is an energy-siphoning trap that most Starseed volunteers ‘catch’ to hinder our missions here.
At the same time, it is completely understandable to feel discomfort in a world with energies so different from the Unity we were used to. Do not let anyone dismiss what you feel but remember that remaining stuck will only increase depression.
It’s not about being happy all the time but finding the middle ground.
The mission is hard but remember that we are here because Humanity couldn’t create the New, they forgot their powers and were stuck in trauma, creating more of the same and following cruel traditions as questioning and creative thinking is repressed here. They needed new (not better) Souls to shake things up.
Having time for ourselves, quitting the news and low vibration habits, foods, reading and entertainment will help. Maybe writing down the things we like and do them too. Creative energy always supports healing and bringing the new, that’s when we become child-like again so bring back those hobbies and activities you love without minding the outcome or trying to make it perfect. I don’t know how many times I gave up on a work of art or craft because I thought too much.
It’s easier for me to talk about it after I purged – hopefully – my last layer of wanting to go home. I am with you in Heart and know how it feels.
It was so very painful because I thought I was done with it. It was a good lesson for me to not assume I am done with anything yet and continue to be open to healing and embodying more Light.
I also felt myself Ascending into a slightly higher frequency yet again because when that is about to happen we can’t take lower energies to higher energetic rungs so a purging begins. Sometimes, we are feeling good all day and then bang, there is a feeling we are going down despite trying to remain centered and in that case, it’s usually because leaving our baggage is needed and we are fighting it. We do cling to happiness a lot when all range of emotions are natural. The more I allowed, crying became normal and now it feels really good. It was painful because it lasted for minutes or hours, but as I am unstuck usually cry for a brief moment and then I am back into flow. Kids cry one moment and are laughing in the next because they are unstuck. We acquire blocks along the way and are taught to repress ourselves. We are afraid of tears because we label it as a bad thing and that smiling is good. While we are still incarnated in density we will feel lower and higher emotions. If we run from them, they will get stuck.
Crying is a balm. I can shed tears of happiness, when I am moved, because I laughed so hard or because I remember about someone I miss. Tears comes from more than grief. It literally washes the Soul, it is a Divine Gift.
We are strip bare over and over for Ascension. It’s not a one-time thing but something that we do over and over throughout these decades and we are at the final stages!
You are not alone in this purging and thank you for this is a service for All on the planet. Some are going through it first to open pathways for the rest to follow.
We are in this together.
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True Lightworkers don’t copy, they are Creating the New.